Words in My Head

It’s 1 a.m. and I’m still awake. I can barely close my eyes. Dear Lord, I should go to sleep by now. In few hours I will have to go to school. I’m thinking. Few words in my head. Sometimes the words are clear, sometimes not. Why? I have no exact answer what I’m actually thinking of now. Anything. Perhaps. Merely can’t asleep. For a moment I feel so well indeed. Free. From my past. Bitterness. Tears. Regrets. They all gone. Vanished. Alike the vapour in the wind. Similar to the waves tossed in the ocean. For almost 2 years I felt like a vagabond, a homeless stranger and yea, I’ve been wandering. So hard to say, even too hard to bare. Yet, it happened and I went through the storms.

Crisis happened in my life. Everyone is facing problems in life. Some big some not. The greatest assurance in life is God. Why? God have known you as you was, as you are and as you will be. Now and forevermore. He sees you as you are. As the lover knows his beloved’s heart. All the shapes and curves of her even in the dark. He formed you in the inward part. What can you hide but let Him has total control in your life? He is the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6) Take one step towards God. God will take two steps towards you. Similar to the parables of The Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) No matter how sinful you are, you still have no way to run from Him. His name is written in your heart. How are you going to erase it? You can't. He shed His blood for you. I always fail my trials and dissapointed Him. Selfishness, proud and anger. We human so weak. Imperfect. Yet, without imperfection there will be no perfection.

Imagine that one day, you ask yourself where is the Sun when the rain pours heavily like bullets. What if the Sun gone forever? No light, no source of life. Simply darkness. Fear. Hopelessness. We always underestimate things. The moment when the Sun went away and the storms came in, always gently remind yourself that after the rains will come the rainbows. . .